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Rohan Pain Index

What is RPI?


RPI or the Rohan Pain Index, is a compilation of the measures of Physical, Emotional and Psychological pain that certain actions, events or objects inflict on humans. I am willing to sacrifice my happiness for the field of science and I hope that the scientific community acknowledges these sacrifices when they are deliberting for the Nobel Prize for Medicine. It would also be great, if I get the TIME Person of the Year award for all of this.

These Rankings should not be seen as a bunch of personal opinions, but rather as a universally accepted scale for pain. If someone disagrees with these rankings, then they are simply wrong.



Scoring Criteria


The Rohan Pain Index has 3 different measurement categories for each process/thing :

  • Physical Pain Score - This measures the Physical pain inflicted by the process/thing.
  • Emotional Pain Score - This measures the Emotional damage sustained during the process/thing.
  • Pissed-off Score - This measures how much the process/thing will piss you off.

All of the three measurement categories are measured on a scale ranging from 1-to-10. This scale is logarithmic.
For all of you non-science peeps, a logarithmic scale means that a score of 4 is 10 times as much as a score of 3.



RPI Scores


Stubbing your pinky toe

Pain Scores
  • Physical Pain Score: 3.2
  • Emotional Pain Score: 1
  • Pissed Off Score: 4.6

SAGES Essay

Pain Scores
  • Physical Pain Score: 1
  • Emotional Pain Score: 10
  • Pissed Off Score: 10

Attending Ethics Lectures

Pain Scores
  • Physical Pain Score: 1
  • Emotional Pain Score: 4.7
  • Pissed Off Score: 1.2

Ravens Losing a game

Pain Scores
  • Physical Pain Score: 1
  • Emotional Pain Score: 4.4
  • Pissed Off Score: Fire Greg Roman

Drinking Swiss Miss

Pain Scores
  • Physical Pain Score: 2.2
  • Emotional Pain Score: 2.5
  • Pissed Off Score: 5.5

Running out of Soap

Pain Scores
  • Physical Pain Score: 1
  • Emotional Pain Score: 10
  • Pissed Off Score: 4

Communists and Hippies

Pain Scores
  • Physical Pain Score: 1
  • Emotional Pain Score: 2.5
  • Pissed Off Score: 10

Lemon on an open wound

Pain Scores
  • Physical Pain Score: 2.9
  • Emotional Pain Score: 1
  • Pissed Off Score: 2.1

Socializing with strangers

Pain Scores
  • Physical Pain Score: 1.5
  • Emotional Pain Score: 3.6
  • Pissed Off Score: 3.1

Java

Pain Scores
  • Physical Pain Score: 1
  • Emotional Pain Score: 4.5
  • Pissed Off Score: 5.5

Eating Leutner Food

Pain Scores
  • Physical Pain Score: 6.5
  • Emotional Pain Score: 2.3
  • Pissed Off Score: 1

Getting your foot snapped between chairs

Pain Scores
  • Physical Pain Score: 5.1
  • Emotional Pain Score: 1.4
  • Pissed Off Score: 2.1

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